File 001 · Since 1838
The Count (Retired)
Prefers the shaded cabana. Never seen at breakfast. Excellent at shuffleboard.
· · ↓
Palm
Beach
Lizard People
Premier poolside lounging, for people who simply enjoy a warm surface.
Gift Shop · New
Standard Issue Loose Tee
"Nothing unusual is occurring here.
We would know."
Amenities
The Basking
Collection
01 · Swimwear
02 · Wide Brim
BRIM44 CM
UPF50+
CREST CLEARANCEAMPLE
EYELIDSBOTH KINDS
*** THANK YOU ***
03 · Mail-Order
$49.95
Hat, suit, towel. Allow one shedding cycle.
Protocol · Daily · Scroll →
Daily Rituals for Immortality
01
06:00 NAVASANA (BOAT)
HOLD 40 MIN · FACE SUN
BLINKING: OPTIONAL
HOLD 40 MIN · FACE SUN
BLINKING: OPTIONAL
02
11:30 GOMUKHASANA
HOLD UNTIL WARM ROCK
TONGUE: INSIDE MOUTH
HOLD UNTIL WARM ROCK
TONGUE: INSIDE MOUTH
03
16:45 ARDHA MATSYENDRASANA
TWIST: FULL 270°
SHED READINESS: HIGH
TWIST: FULL 270°
SHED READINESS: HIGH
Encore
Intermission · Gift Shop
Now not available
Ladies Sunbathing on Towels Loose Crop TopDaily Sign-Off
Rituals complete.
Body temperature: correct.
Wear it home
8 in the Morning Loose TeeDistinguished
Members
File 002 · Assembled 1931
The Gentleman of Parts
Enjoys thunderstorms on the terrace. Bolts polished weekly. Fond of tennis.
File 003 · Surfaced 1954
The Lagoon Resident
Lifeguard emeritus. Has not left the deep end since Eisenhower.
Solar Timetable
Hours of sunsite, daily rituals & guest appearances.
Leisure
Frequency
NOW TUNED · DRAG THE NEEDLE
97.8 WARM ROCK FM
◀ REVSTATICFWD ▶
Spotted at
the Cabana
Mrs. V. sipping iced tea for six consecutive hours.
Miss D. declined the umbrella. Again.
Lady R. caught a moth. Mid-sentence.
Towel circle. Nobody moved for a fortnight.
Facing the horizon. Would not turn around. Standard Issue. Standard Issue Loose Tee
Arrived by motorcycle in long sleeves. Admirable. Ladies Sunbathing on Towels Loose Long Sleeve Tee
Walking the dog. The dog is also a member. 8 in the Morning Loose Tee
Our eldest member. Insists this is a postcard. Ladies Sunbathing on Towels Loose Tee
Frequently
Denied
Sequins. The management does not recognise the term "scales."
You saw a member enjoying a beverage. Tongues move. This is documented.
Guest comfort. Metabolism is a personal matter.
By invitation only. Most invitations hatch in spring.
No. Please enjoy a complimentary heat lamp.
Wake at 8AM. Bask by 8:01.
Includes one warm flat rock.
1-800-BASK-NOW
Moult-Ease™ Tablets
For dry, peeling, or entirely detaching skin.
Second Night Free
Stay another. Stay, perhaps, forever.